We may be sour, but we know our sweets.

Haribo Smurfs & Haribo Sour Smurfs : A Tale of Two Different Blue Little Shits

Author

One of my favorite things about candy is the presentation : the color, the packaging, the way it looks.  And for a immature candy freak, you can’t really get better than this:

 

They’re neu!  Red, white, and blue patriotic Smurfs.  I had these a few years ago, before we started this site, and wasn’t sure if I had liked them or not.  But just take a gander at these Smurfy little things.  Extremely Smurfy.

Here’s the thing though: they’re fucking horrible.  Forget the flavor, that’s fine- it’s the awkward consistency that’s the problem.  These aren’t traditional Haribo gummies like their cola bottles or alphabet letters.  They’re more of an insanely sticky chewy clump–you can easily bite right through it, then the sticky shenanigans ensue.  Mind you, I don’t have a thing against sticky candies per se, it’s just that these offer very little else to make them worthwhile.  As soon as I started chewing, I remembered that my reaction was the same before.  Blech.

 

However, I was also given a second bag.  The dark side of Smurfdom.  Sour Smurfs.

Bin ich sauer!  That should be my license plate.  These are kinda the same size, but look completely different:

They look completely different because they ARE completely different.  These aren’t just the same candy as above with sour coating: these have a completely different consistency.  Have you tried Haribo Fruit Salad?  Like it?  These are exactly the same consistency as those, maybe just a bit softer.  These are…how do you say…to DIE for.  I ate these up, wouldn’t share with Jr- all the tell tale signs that I’ve found a new favorite.  There’s three flavors, and I THINK they’re raspberry, lemon and blue raspberry, but I’m not sure.  But who cares?  That’s a detail that you don’t need to know, I don’t need to know, no one needs to know.  Would you REALLY stop eating Haribo Gold bears if you  found out that the clear bear was pineapple?  No.  No, you wouldn’t.

 

The important headline here is : avoid the “regular” ones, and buy the sour ones by any means necessary.  Normally I’d assume that we can’t get them here, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.  For 13 bucks you can get a vat-sized tub of these to make your holidays warmer.  Enjoy, and be sure to smurf then when they arrive.

 

  • gigic

    Not into sour candy but this review made me laugh out loud. Thanks for sharing :)

    • matty

      This didn’t make you laugh out loud. Don’t encourage him.

      • jonnyguru

        I SWEAR TO GOD, MATTY, I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE! Or more likely, not. But I need encouragement, so step off, braj!

  • matty

    Strange that the Smurfs are still popular in Germany. Were they really ever “popular” in the States? Side note, I heard just last week that the woman who was the voice for the hot little smurfette died. :-[

    • Mackrelmint

      *cries*

  • greebs

    OF COURSE Matty found the Smurfette hot. Tremendous. These sour ones look great — Fruit Salad is, perhaps, my alltime favorite Haribo, so that’s good company — as well as a good description of why the “normal” ones are to be avoided.

    Don’t share with Jr. That kid is wiley.

  • Moi

    So I have the American Haribo Smurfs at this moment on my desk at work and they’re nothing like these guys. Definitely more the cola bottle consistency of yore. Find them and try them!

    • http://www.candygurus.com Matty

      Did and done yo!
      Or rather…coming Monday. Stay tunedish.

  • Juli

    The consitency of the first smurfs the none sour kind is actually really popular in Germany. I love it and there are a lot more with this consitency for example strawberrys :

    http://www.amazon.de/Haribo-Riesenerdbeeren-1er-Pack-1350/dp/B0021GO2U0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1374439130&sr=8-1&keywords=haribo+riesenerdbeeren

    We love the sticky consitency ;)