We may be sour, but we know our sweets.

Haribo Little Fuckin’ Cupcakes

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Fine, there’s no cuss word in the title of these monstrosities, but as far as I’m concerned there needs to be something: some heads up, some warning about the horrors to come.

Ready?

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Absolutely gorgeous bag – IF YOU’RE GOING TO A GODDAMN TEA PARTY.  Spoiler alert: I’m not.  Still though, I can appreciate the packaging.  It’s nice, old school-y, and fun.  Plus it holds cupcakes!  Remember those?  Like 10 years ago people couldn’t shut up about cupcakes, they were all the rage, little boutiques were selling fancy ones for $5 a pop.  Now?  No one cares, they’ve moved on to Bruffins and Cronuts.

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The back of the bag spells out the concept pretty clearly: inside, you’ll find 2 kinds of cupcake bottoms (lemon & caramel) and then 6 different cupcake tops (blueberry, orange, vanilla, lemon, cherry & strawberry).  It’s make your own cupcake time!

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From that pile of wreckage, we get this:

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…..I’m racking my brain, trying to think of something funny to say about this, but I can’t.  They’re cute!  However, if you could be here with me, you’d have noticed the stench coming out of the bag.  Sort of a cross between the actual cone in an ice cream cone, and wet cardboard.  Don’t worry though, once you combine the bottom with a top, the taste is….similar to the wet cardboard thing, but now it’s a marshmallow foamy slightly vanilla tinged mess.  Friggin’ horrible.

 

These are disgusting.  They’re like a really really hot dude or woman, who’s just cute and put together so well….but when they get close to you, the power of their body odor is so completely overwhelming that you physically get naseous.

 

Are we clear?  Feel free to look at these, but don’t touch. But if you must touch, touch that link yonder.

3 Comments

  1. I feel like these sweets personally are the worst Haribo has made in the recent year. The smell from the bag was not pleasant but I must admit I was hopeful.However when you combine any of the tops with the cupcake bottoms they don’t really taste of any recognizable flavour. The strawberry orange and blueberry tops do add a slight taste to the combinations but don’t last long enough. If you do decide to taste the cupcake bottoms on their own you can just about tell they were caramel and lemon purely by taste. Overall meh I’ve seen Haribo do so much better but the presentation was as it says on the package ‘cute’, so at least these sweets had one thing going for them.

    • Yo ToffieDog-

      I completely agree with you. I’d bitch and moan about Haribo going downhill, but the fact is they’re not: they’e just making SO MANY different new varieties, some are ending up sucky.

  2. I complete agree as well I bought these Today and when I opened the bag it was terrible, I tried them and they were instantly the worst kind of haribo I have ever tasted they are far to sweet and the flavours like caramel biscuit and the cherry topping just make me feel sick please note to never buy these and I am sorry I had to pay for this unpleasant experience

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