We may be sour, but we know our sweets.

“Don’t you…forget about Spree…don’t don’t don’t don’t!”

Author

I know, I know, Spree, especially Original Spree, are far from new. I’ve had them tons of times over the years, but for whatever reason, I started to shun them unfairly once their more glamorous, sexier younger sibling, “Chewy Spree” came out whenever the hell they came out.

I judged. I discriminated. I persecuted by ignoring that they even existed.

And then I took a family vacation. My bro (Candy Gurus guest columnist Matt “Jr. Guru” G) was going to the store. I asked him to pick me up some Sweet Tarts, as I’m good like that. As in, good in asking my family to buy me candy. When he returned, he busted out the Tarts, as well as a roll of Original Spree. I didn’t think much of it, till @ 9 that evening.

Sidebar:  I REALLY hate it when I’m as boring as this.  I just read this review thus far and almost fell asleep. When you bore YOURSELF, you really have no chance of entertaining the masses, do you?  I make no bones about it: Matty Guru is a better writer than me.  He’s funnier, snarkier, more better-erer.  Then again, he’s a PR guy.  Of course, if the blog had sound issues, I’d have a chance to shine (as that’s what I do all day), but as is…you’re stuck with the equivalent of  a slightly developmentally slow 9th grader’s writing style.

Witness:

All I am saying, is Give Spree a chance. What’s so funny ’bout Spree, love and understanding? Free to Spree you and me. Don’t worry, about a thing, cause every little Spree’s gonna be alright. Cause I’m Spree, to do what I want, any old time.

Just a few more tastes of equally lame titles I could have given this review.

Apologies forever.  Back to our quip…

So it’s later that evening.  I ate some Spree. Then some more. Then, my world changed: everything I thought I knew before was turned on its ass. Were OG Spree actually BETTER than Chewy Spree? Had I gone through the 90′s and whatever the hell you call the 00′s with misinformation? I think I was.

OG Spree are hard. But not too hard. They sort of hold up for a bit of sucking, then, once you bite into them, they have this sand-like dissolving thing going on. Me likee.

The flavors? I have no idea, but the purple one, which I’m assuming is grape, is the dopest, as always.

Bottom Line: Spree, Original Spree that is, are underrated. They’re hells scrump.
Would I Buy Them Again?: Hells yes, and I already did. Probably will go into heavy rotation in the Guru household for some time to come.

 

 

 

  • Swervie

    This review is hilarious.

    And I’m not a better writer. I think what you meant was I’m a better LOOKING writer.

    And I best be giving these another chance obviously.

    Rockin in the Spree world,
    Matty

  • Denise Ryan

    I think I had a flashback reading this. Wait – I was just a kid in the 60s!

    Have you guys had those Rainbow Twizzlers? GROSS!!! The flavors sounded great, the colors looked other worldly, the taste – GLAACK!!….but I do chocolate, these are in your area of expertise.