Did you ever wake up one morning with the feeling that someone had knitted a carpet over your tongue while simultaneously pouring a pint of lye down your throat?
No, I don’t have the Swine Flu, I’m just hung over. Really hung over. Day 3 of hung over.
Why does this matter to you? It doesn’t, I just wanted to preface this review honestly, so you’d know why it’s unusually crappy. Don’t blame me, blame the fine people of Kentucky for exporting so much delicious Bourbon.
Let’s jump in the “way-back” machine. Kid style. The Marathon bar was a classic candy bar, seemingly everywhere when I was a kid. It consisted of braided caramel–pretty decently thick caramel–covered in milk chocolate. Nuthin’ fancy, and nuthin’ to mess up.
This candy bar was at the top of my list, being the caramel whore that I was and am. Of course though, like many things I’ve loved (Wacky Wafers, why did thou forsake me??!?!), they discontinued the product in 1981. So right about the time I was rockin’ the quarters on “Ms. Pac Man”, “Dragons Lair” and “Spy Hunter”, I was forced to move on to Nerds, Sweet Tarts, et al. No more Marathon for you!
And that was that. No more thoughts about the Marathon Bar. Aside from the VERY occasional reminiscing sesh, Marathon Bars have been dead to me for almost 30 years.
Then…everything changed.
Dig:
Yes, it’s the British remarkably too-cute yet potentially cleverly named “Curlywurly Bar”. What’s it made of? Well, milk chocolate covered braided caramel, of course!
I discovered this gem while perusing the shelves of Roxie’s Market, on Kirkham St. in SF with my boys Scotty & Matty. Let me tell ya, that place has an impressive stockpile of British and Irish foods and candies. Good times.
Take a look at the guts:
These are very, VERY similar to Marathon Bars. the big difference is the thickness of the caramel. The Marathon bar definitely beats the Curlywurly in that area-meaning, the Curlywurly is just a bit thin feeling. Easier on the waistline (or if you’re me, your backfat), but not quite as amazingly pleasing in the mouth.
Overall though, you couldn’t ask for a more similar Marathon clone. The flavor is delicious-creamy, salty caramel, coated with quality milk chocolate. Needless to say, because this thing is a bit dainty, you can down a whole bar pretty quickly.
I just discovered that these are sold at the Cost Plus World Market in Larkspur, CA, which I think means that many of the Cost Plus stores carry it. If you ever were a Marathon Bar fan, or have any affinity to caramel, grab a few of these and don’t share them with your friends. Your friends don’t love you the way caramel does.
You know I’m right, right?
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