Cry Baby Eggs

The year was 1981. Leo Sayer was crushing it on mom's AM radio. It was hot, mom was driving the carpool, and I was chewing Gator Gum. Like a BOSS.

Reviewed by Jonny

July 9, 2013

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I always want sour gum to be great.  I have this recurring memory of chewing Gator Gum in the 80’s, back when sour was nay but a dream to most people.  It was bliss.  Short lived bliss, but sour, delightful bliss.

Before that, everything was mint, bubble gum, or “fruit” flavored.  Gator Gum was supposed to be thirst quenching, and it was-a wash of sour, quenching sugar relief.  SInce those dulcet days though, my quest for a proper replacement gum has yielded little fruit.

crybabyeggs-box2

 

We really like Cry Baby Tears, so why not these?

 

Ahh, right.  Because these suck ass.

crybabyeggs-openThey look fun enough.  Even egg-like.  So far, so good.

crybabyeggs-cu

 

Inside, it’s…gum-looking.  Nothing abnormal, here.

 

And that’s exactly the overall problem with these: they’re exactly like every other sour gum.  I’d discuss the flavor, but I didn’t have time to evaluate it.  These were very sour at first, then flavorless and too firm @ 30 seconds later.  Is it technically impossible to maintain a sour flavor for 15 minutes?

 

 

Look, we can stream Game Of Thrones on your phone.  One can find a food truck specializing in bacon in most US citites.  Hell, I bought a silicon ice cube tray that makes 2 inch cubes for my beloved bourbon.  TWO INCH CUBES!  Do you see what I’m saying here?  We HAVE the technology.

 

But no one cares enough besides us.  So we’re left with inferior sour gum that doesn’t last.  This Guru suggests you stay away, and stick with your aspartame-riddled “melon remix” crap that you bought in a 3-pack at Target.  It’ll kill you, but the flavor lasts and lasts!

 

Zolli Candy

5 Comments

  1. Daniel Villani

    Try a gum called Quench might solve your problem

    Reply
  2. miya

    OMG DO YOU KNOW WERE WERE I CAN GET THEM OR WHAT WEBSITE I CAN GET IT FROM?

    Reply
  3. Jake Ochoa

    This candy is not about the gum! I bite the egg in half and then pour that sour sugar into my mouth. That by itself is so sour and so good.

    Reply
  4. J

    Oh man. The orange Gatorade gum was the best. Though I realized it tasted like dried apricots, which fortunately are delicious.

    Reply
    • Haley

      I been trying to find crybaby Easter egg I can’t not find them

      Reply

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