We may be sour, but we know our sweets.

Chocri Khan Let Me Rock You Chocri Khan

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“…the dark bar was probably the best I’ve ever had.”

That’s what your favorite reviewer Jonny said about the chocolate bars he ordered from make-your-own-chocolate-bar site, chocri. (This site isn’t yet available to the unwashed masses — just for dirtbags like us who spend valuable time writing and talking about sweets. But you can read about the purveyor’s escapades until the buy-site is open to the public.)

ok – let’s take a step back.
It’s Xmas-ish, you’re tired of buying the same ol’ crappy gifts so you decide this year it would be really really great to design a bar of chocolate for all the kids; or your favorite boss; or the hot temp who’s leather black boots keep saying, “seriously, lick these.”

If this is you (and sadly it ain’t me cuz we don’t hire temps) then perhaps chocri will be for you. I like to pronounce the name chocri like I’m dick van dyke in Mary Poppins, like someone asked, “is that bar chocolatey?” and I say, “Showe is guv’nuh. Rweaally chocri.”

chocri1

At chocri you simply order chocolate bars and put your favorite toppings on them. And they gots themselves loads of toppings under headings like Fruit, Spices, Nuts, Extras, Decor & Grains. Real grains the hippies will love like organic flax seeds. Not sure Hershey offers that.

In general, I like this idea a lot. Maybe it’s new, maybe it isn’t; there are other make your own candy sites. And although this is quite the market niche —  cuz it sure aint cheap. dark choco bar is $9.90 before your first topping, and once you add a few of those that range from .75 to a few bucks, with shipping? knickerbocker please — I’m pretty sure I’d go to this site once or twice and make my own bar. Because I think I’d be good at creating my own lil’ choco recipe of love, and frankly, I need to get the taste out of my mouth of the absolutely shit bars Jonny created.

chocri2

 

Hey – no offense, I love the guy like a hot temp I wish I could hire. But the chocolate bars he created? Wow. Spiced to the hilt. Literally, hot. And not temp girl hot. Like srirachi hot. Great maybe for a small nip and clever remark, “wow – that cayenne in there with the sea salt overtones sure played some whoopy on my soft palette.” But I couldn’t actually eat more than a nib of Jonny’s little concoctions and what fun is that? I’m not into candy tasting, I’m into candy eating. Also he put dried cherries on it. And overall I’m a chocolate and berry bigot. I’ll take fresh strawberries and chocolate, but that’s it, and not a lot of it.

 

So I say, sure, hire a girl – get her to order you some chocri bars, perhaps with peanut butter? I’m pretty sure that little recipe will work. And go with the dark because we all agreed that the milk chocolate was rather pedestrian. And then let us know what you think. It won’t be cheap but I bet it’s pretty good. Like Jon said, “…the dark bar was probably the best I’ve ever had.” Not sure. Maybe if they were wrapped in leather boots?

 

 

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  • http://reignoferror.blogspot.com greebs

    This review is great, but you are way off — that second bar was “unbah” and if your scared little palate can’t handle the truth, so be it. I will say it’s a hit or miss – haven’t seen the User Interface on that site, but if they aren’t giving you some suggestions about what will taste good, it’s pretty expensive to do trial and error chocri creations…

  • http://www.candygurus.com Jonny

    Just to be clear- I agree with Matty, the milk chocolate bars I made sucked ass. However, the dark chocolate one (with dried sour cherries, shaved almonds, fresh cracked pepper & sea salt) was unreal. I’d buy those off the shelf if I could. And I don’t even like chocolate that much!

  • http://www.createmychocolate.com Carmen

    Hi there,

    Thanks so much for the post! This is Carmen from chocri, and to answer one of the questions above: Yes- there are recommendations on the website, of course :)
    In general though, different people like different things, and that’s the beauty of the concept- you can design exactly what *you* like :))

    If you like the idea, leave us your email on http://www.createmychocolate.com, and we’ll send you a code for our invitation-only launch on January 5.

    See you there!
    Carmen
    http://www.twitter.com/@chocridotcom

  • http://www.candygurus.com Matty

    Thanks Carmen -
    And hey CG readers, get your invite. You know you want one.
    -m

  • Scotty

    So I was there when they busted these bad boys out. Not impressed with the milk chocolate one – really just too many toppings – nothing on Chocri. But the dark chocolate ones were fantastic. You ain’t gonna see me ordering these for personal consumption – well not until the CandyGurus finally start their store – but I will be buying these as presents. No hassle with stores, unique, really well done. I personally think the rating is too low. I really felt the dark chocolate bars were special.