We may be sour, but we know our sweets.

Chewy Extinguishers Promise Big Things…

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Now this is what I’m talking about.

New, random candy that one can find at a gas station. New, random SOUR candy.

chewyexfruitbox

chewyexcitrusbox

You can see that these suckers are SO sour in fact, that they require an extinguisher of sorts. Thus the name. Get it?

What we have here are the sour fruit flavored and the sour citrus flavored “chewy extinguishers”.

These are the fruit flavored:

chewyexfruitopen

and these are the citrus flavored:

chewyexcitrusopen

I’m gonna start first on the fruit flavored chews. Who’s the moron who decided to color two of the three flavors almost exactly the same? Why would anyone EVER do that? Moving past that, the box claims that the sour flavors increase with each flavor: watermelon (red) is just “tangy”…..strawberry (red) is “sour”, and green apple (green) is “super sour”. Hmm. Then what’s the blue for?

Ahh, the extinguisher. Blue is “sweet relief” berry. The assumption is that these chews are so sour that instead of scrambling for a cool glass of water, you should pop one of the extinguisher berry flavored cooling chews. It’s all making sense so far, right? But even so- why do the blue ones have to be separated from the herd? They can’t even touch the sour ones?

These aren’t chopped habanero peppers, people. I GET the schtick, but it’s stupid. Couldn’t I just pick a clearly blue one out if I wanted my “sweet relief” from the sour overload? Whatev.

As for taste, these are about as mixed of a bag as they come. The consistency of these chew is very similar to the Ice Breakers Sour Chews, although not quite as chewy and dense:

chewyexcuut

But that’s where the similarities stop.

The chewy extinguisher flavors are shit. The only one I can actually identify is the lemon from the citrus box. The rest-although they don’t taste bad-are just generic fruity sour flavor. They’re not bad, actually, just generic. But they sure as hell aint super sour, either.

Which makes this next part that much more difficult.

The blue extinguisher chews are inedible. Seriously. They don’t taste at all like any sort of berry I’ve ever tasted. They don’t even taste of anything, except a very strong…artificial medicinal flavor. It’s almost as if they taste like food coloring, if that’s possible. But it’s a very off taste, and totally jacks your mouth up, forcing you to pop some more mediocre sour chews to cover the stank.

Not a good situation, people.

Listen, I appreciate making new candies for the world to try, I really do, but these suck. The concept is stupid, the packaging is annoyingly stupid, and the overall taste is a total disappointment. Obviously, these are geared towards idiot 13 year olds, but if you’re an idiot 40 year old like me OR a kid-don’t buy ‘em.

 

 



  • Matty

    So they look good.
    But if I’m reading between the lines correctly – they actually suck.
    Sad, sad day.

  • LDeer77

    I see what you mean. They do look nice but don’t taste as good as they look. If you are looking for a sour candy that delivers on sour and also tastes great, you should try Toxic Waste candy. They come in little drums and have 4 or 5 flavors per drum. They all taste great, and the sour is unbelievable.