We may be sour, but we know our sweets.
Reviewed by Matty on Aug 25, 2014
Just because they are from New Zealand doesn't mean they are up the boohai, ya dag!
Reviewed by Matty on Jul 28, 2014
Because they don't have beer mints
Reviewed by Matty on May 21, 2014
Haribo Funny Cubes. Basically square but not funny at all. #ButStill
Reviewed by Matty on Apr 24, 2014
"Itsugar" - the manufacturer of these has an apt name. I would have liked them more if they would go with "Itsflavor" though.
Reviewed by Matty on Mar 17, 2014
America is a wonderful place. The land of opportunity. Ever eaten bacon and chocolate? Thanks go to some fat-loving US...
Reviewed by Matty on Jan 27, 2014
Candy is dandy but beer is near
Reviewed by Matty on Dec 9, 2013
Gingerbread is #SoHoliday
Reviewed by Matty on Dec 2, 2013
Old school meet middle school. Add in after school, go to college then make candy. Which has nothing to do with these things.
Reviewed by Matty on Nov 25, 2013
Moucken Boules are Fooken Shoeless! (no idea what that means but I think it rhymes)
Reviewed by Matty on Nov 18, 2013
When Italians make anything, I eat it. Here's chocolate. Guess what I did when I got it.
Reviewed by Matty on Nov 11, 2013
Pink pigs with gummy ears. Sounds like a bad dream. But it's the opposite: a good nightmare!
Reviewed by Matty on Nov 4, 2013
Bright and cheery on the outside, plain and dreary on the in.
Reviewed by Matty on Oct 21, 2013
The only thing extinct about these Haribo Dinosaurs is the bag I just inhaled.
Reviewed by Jonny on Oct 4, 2013
The age old Twinkie is reviewed by request. Go get...
Reviewed by Matty on Sep 16, 2013
When you have mothers and flight attendants scared the world over, you know the candy is good
Reviewed by Matty on Aug 19, 2013
Sour's good, sour's best, sour punches you in the chest
Reviewed by Matty on Aug 5, 2013
Real fruit. No Fake nothing. Real good. L'Chaim.
Reviewed by Matty on Jul 29, 2013
These Skittles aren't just dark, they're brooding
Reviewed by Matty on Jul 22, 2013
If you thought butterscotch kinda sucked yr kinda wrong
Reviewed by Matty on Jul 15, 2013
When Tool broke up, I was sad. Then Maynard started making wine and gummies and I'm much happier.
Reviewed by Matty on Jun 10, 2013
It's an old standby but dammit there's a reason for that
Reviewed by Matty on Jun 3, 2013
An unappealing mollusk as candy. What'll they think of next?!
Reviewed by Matty on May 20, 2013
Gritty and dirty meet tropical something
Reviewed by Matty on May 15, 2013
More soda gummies but there ain't no coke in these
Reviewed by Matty on May 8, 2013
I'm so tired. I need a gummy bear. Stat.
Reviewed by Matty on Apr 15, 2013
Great coconut. Perfect for the rich!
Reviewed by Matty on Apr 1, 2013
There was a time when Jolly Rancher was a one-trick pony – hard brick candies in watermelon, green apple, cherry,...
Reviewed by Matty on Mar 25, 2013
When the sweet people at Jelly Belly send us Gurus stuff to review, in this case, Easter Candy, I have to ask myself:...
Reviewed by Matty on Mar 18, 2013
Italians and their food. Let's let them keep making it.
Reviewed by Matty on Feb 11, 2013
I know I know... when we think 'chocolate' we all think 'beef'. Nothing new here. Oh WAIT A MINUTE!
Reviewed by Matty on Feb 6, 2013
Don't lie to me about what your candy tastes like. I'm not 19. It won't make me want to sleep with you more. Also, Happy Valentine's Day.
Reviewed by Matty on Jan 28, 2013
When you're fat, you diet. But you got to still eat candy. Because why make life any shittier?
Reviewed by Matty on Jan 7, 2013
Did you know Germany was name after Ginger? It grows everywhere over there. Seriously.
Reviewed by Matty on Jan 2, 2013
Tabasco on pizza is a prerequisite to eating, in most cases. Tabasco in your jelly beans is just a smidge different.
Reviewed by Matty on Dec 17, 2012
This week I don't have the space in my head to try and be witty, and write a nonsensical review of something as mundane as candy.
Reviewed by Matty on Dec 10, 2012
if you like Werther's and you like coconut, you'll literally make love to these. Just don't do it in public; it ain't 1976.
Reviewed by Matty on Dec 3, 2012
Cotton candy, also called candy floss, is sweet.
Reviewed by Matty on Nov 26, 2012
It's taffy by nature. Not strawberry by taste. Kids like it too but kids don't know sh*&.
Reviewed by Matty on Nov 12, 2012
Now when you think of candy corn, you can think of caramel apples and confuse the hell out of yourself!
Reviewed by Matty on Oct 31, 2012
Bad coconut candy may scare the hell out of you. Run!
Reviewed by Matty on Sep 17, 2012
When you're in the mood to elect an official and eat chocolate
Reviewed by Matty on Sep 4, 2012
Yes I did.
I actually have a review almost ready to write too. But this week, my real work is going to be un-sane and...
Reviewed by Matty on Aug 27, 2012
When you want to rub someone and then eat it off. Litrally.
Reviewed by Matty on Aug 20, 2012
How in god's name am I going to get some fudge sent here? Sendfudge.com, that's the hell how yo!
Reviewed by Matty on Aug 4, 2012
When soda says "Hi. Drink me." I says "Sure." When Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda says "Trust me. I'm good." I says, "Open up and let's try you. Also, I think I'm going insane since soda doesn't talk."
Reviewed by Matty on Jul 23, 2012
Jeg elsker norske kvinner. Jeg mener sjokolade.
Reviewed by Matty on Jul 16, 2012
The entire world can go to Jelly Belly and for free, see how they make the best jelly beans in the world. Are you part of the world?
Reviewed by Matty on Jul 9, 2012
The folks at Candy Galaxy contacted us to let us know they are now in business, and sent along a few gifts to prove it....
Reviewed by Matty on Jul 2, 2012
The Candy Gurus don’t hold back the love for Jelly Belly. The size (small enough to eat a lot), consistency (not...
Reviewed by Jonny on Jun 28, 2012
Kids, kids, kids. They’re good for a few laughs, at least!
According to the Juicefuls website, they seem to be...
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