Chocolate | Candy Gurus

Sula Toffee To Go “Kaffeecreme”

Reviewed by Jonny on Apr 25, 2013

Caramel goes with salt. This we know. But does it go with coffee? What about white chocolate? Porjk Belly?

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Ocho Coconut Bar: When Price is No Object

Reviewed by Matty on Apr 15, 2013

Great coconut. Perfect for the rich!

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Zoe’s Chocolate Co. : Two Bars For Review

Reviewed by Jonny on Mar 21, 2013

What's gona be better: animal crackers in milk chocolate, or jelly beans in dark? Serious first world issue to ponder.

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Baci means Kiss in Italian. Maybe should mean French Kiss.

Reviewed by Matty on Mar 18, 2013

Italians and their food. Let's let them keep making it.

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Wild Ophelia: Beef Jerky Milk Chocolate Brings Wisps of Animal

Reviewed by Matty on Feb 11, 2013

I know I know... when we think 'chocolate' we all think 'beef'. Nothing new here. Oh WAIT A MINUTE!

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Skinny Cow: “Divine Chocolates” that Don’t Fatten You Up

Reviewed by Matty on Jan 28, 2013

When you're fat, you diet. But you got to still eat candy. Because why make life any shittier?

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Happy Halloween! These are Terrible Coconut Candies!

Reviewed by Matty on Oct 31, 2012

Bad coconut candy may scare the hell out of you. Run!

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Choclatique: Vote for Cocoa!

Reviewed by Matty on Sep 17, 2012

When you're in the mood to elect an official and eat chocolate

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Sendfudge.com: Can it get any clearer?

Reviewed by Matty on Aug 20, 2012

How in god's name am I going to get some fudge sent here? Sendfudge.com, that's the hell how yo!

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Kvikk Lunsj: Yeah, it’s spelled like that

Reviewed by Matty on Jul 23, 2012

Jeg elsker norske kvinner. Jeg mener sjokolade.

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Cremino Bicalore: Bueno

Reviewed by Matty on May 28, 2012

When you want something sweet and hazelnutty from Mexico

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PB&J’s: Cursing the Name of Peanut Butter

Reviewed by Matty on Apr 26, 2012

PB&J's has a name that says "simpler days", "mom loves me" and "yum". These bars though say "your stoopid", "you have no taste" and "screw you".

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Rolo: While It’s Technically True That You CAN Roll a Rolo To Your Pal, I’m Not Going To.

Reviewed by Jonny on Apr 23, 2012

"You can roll a Rolo / To your pal/ They're chocolate covered / Car - a -mal". Not car-a-mel, but car-a-mal. Get it right.

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Caramels Diablo Sea Salt Caramels with Chile

Reviewed by Jonny on Apr 4, 2012

Aren't there enough sea salt caramels? Clearly not, smart guy.

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TCHO Chocolate: OK I promise to take Chocolate super serious. Now can I eat?

Reviewed by Matty on Mar 12, 2012

TCHO is So Fo Sho

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Sweetriot: Attractive People Make Chocolate Not War

Reviewed by Matty on Feb 28, 2012

Say what you want about how the Man is keeping you down by making Red Dye #5-riddled aspertame products but don't blame the kids at sweetriot who are doing what they can to be green, save the world, keep you healthy and, oh yeah, make chocolate.

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Make Valentine’s Day Totally Haute with Popcorn

Reviewed by Matty on Feb 6, 2012

Popcorn like it was meant to eat

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Live from Sundance: $9 chocolate bar: Ritual Chocolate

Reviewed by Jonny on Jan 23, 2012

So… Bear with me here, people. This is the first time I’ve posted from my phone. I have an hour to kill as...

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Tobasco Brand Spicy Chocolate: Hells Yes

Reviewed by Matty on Dec 19, 2011

Tabasco jumped into the chocolate game and put up a huge 'W' out of the gate.

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Sweetriot Nibs. Dunked in Chocolate.

Reviewed by Jonny on Dec 13, 2011

Can a poorly named, hideously packaged chocolate item even BEGIN to interest Jonny?

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Long Boys Coconut: Like a Caramel. With Coconut

Reviewed by Matty on Oct 31, 2011

If you're the type who reads a few sentences to see if the flavor profiles jive with yours before reading on, let's cut to the chase: coconut. and caramel.

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Caffex Mallows: Caffeinated Marshmallows Tweaked Me Out

Reviewed by Matty on Sep 12, 2011

Sugar filled caffeine bombs? Power drill s'mores into your brain.

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Ice Cubes: Classic Chocolate Misnomer

Reviewed by Matty on Aug 23, 2011

Chocolate makes the world go around. Or is that peace. Or is it money. I can never remember.

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Vosges Goji Bar: Tibetan Berries and Himalayan Salt at a K-Mart Near You!

Reviewed by Matty on Jul 28, 2011

Part of our infatuation with Vosges is that an attractive female makes the chocolate, but hot chick or no, a good product is a good product.

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Haribo Mini Color-Ado : I Bagged ‘em.

Reviewed by Jonny on Jun 28, 2011

Last night I opened up a variety of Haribo I’ve never seen before : Mini Color-Rado. They’re...

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Brach’s Peanut Butter Poppins: Legacy Shmegacy. These Things are Good.

Reviewed by Matty on May 3, 2011

I Know I know. Brach's is candy heresy. Well not these my brother. Not these.

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Pralines with Loads of Gail Ambrosiusness

Reviewed by Matty on Apr 25, 2011

Pralines like truffles but really just great chocolates with flavors worth salivating over

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Twix Coconut, Please! And…Hold The Coconut?

Reviewed by Jonny on Apr 21, 2011

I’m not happy. What the hell is going on with all these candy companies making coconut flavored candies (a good...

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Same Sweet Candy Offers Some Sweet Caramels

Reviewed by Matty on Apr 5, 2011

I like the little guys, the small companies trying to make it big. And I like the Internet. It’s an instant...

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Toffee Turtles – Eat Some, Save the World, No Big Whoop

Reviewed by Matty on Mar 22, 2011

Why we don’t rely on kids to review candy: Dad: So how’d you like the candy? Kid A: Awesome Dad: Wow....

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Pretzel M&M’s – Candy Of The Year?

Reviewed by Jonny on Mar 11, 2011

Pretzel M&M's sure as HELL be better than the coconut ones. I'm angry.

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Whoah-These Rocks Rock! Jean Philippe River Rocks

Reviewed by Jonny on Jan 26, 2011

It's just fun to eat rocks. Don't tell me it's not.

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Christopher Elbow’s Chocolate Pops You in the Mouth

Reviewed by Matty on Dec 20, 2010

uh what? “No 6 Dark Rocks – 61% dark chocolate bar blended with popping candy”You know...

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2010 – The Year that Candy Became Popular

Reviewed by Matty on Dec 13, 2010

The Top 10 candies of 2010! In case you missed our first take, check out the rehash!

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Camille Bloch Mousse: Serious Eurostyle Chocolates

Reviewed by Matty on Dec 3, 2010

Swiss chocolate that tastes just like Swiss chocolate!

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Too Haute Cowgirls’ Popcorn Turns my Son into a Wild Beast

Reviewed by Jonny on Nov 23, 2010

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American Heritage Chocolate: I say good show sir!

Reviewed by Matty on Nov 20, 2010

Olde skoole chocolate with bold taste - great for cooks. From Mars inc. If you can find it, get it.

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The Coconut Debate : Are M&Ms Coconut The Real Deal?

Reviewed by Jonny on Nov 16, 2010

I'll eat anything with coconut. But it's gotta HAVE coconut in it. Confused yet?

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Phillips Candy House Caramel Chocolate Apple – It’s A Giant

Reviewed by Jonny on Oct 26, 2010

There's chocolate, and chocolate, and caramel, and chocolate and an apple.

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NEXT!!! (organics) Dark Chocolate Covered Coconut Are Better Than This Review

Reviewed by Jonny on Aug 27, 2010

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Goo Goo Clusters Go Old School On Y’ass…

Reviewed by Jonny on Jul 20, 2010

This claims to be the FIRST EVER combination candy bar. Intrigued?

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Alpenliebe-Orangey Chocolatey Hard Creamy Yet Not Dreamy

Reviewed by Jonny on Jul 13, 2010

Grandma might steal them from you.

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Who’s Up For A Soybean Kit Kat?

Reviewed by Jonny on Jun 15, 2010

Green Tea and Intense Roasted Soybean Kit Kats. Breakfast time!

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Not Just Cereal: Sugar Cereal Covered in Sugar

Reviewed by Matty on Jun 11, 2010

What are they? Oh just little fun boxes filled with yr favorite sweet cereals covered in chocolate. Any kid under 10 will rid their DVRs of Hannah Montana for a year straight to get a fix of this stuff.

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And The Winner Is…Vosges Haut Chocolat!

Reviewed by Jonny on Jun 8, 2010

Vosges continues to make chocolate based candy treats that are insta-classics. This time is no exception.

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Gail Ambrosius: Truffles that Men Won’t Hide From

Reviewed by Matty on Jun 4, 2010

I don't think I've ever heard a dude say, "Man, I sure could use a smooth chocolate truffle right now." Still - when the experts at Gail Ambrosius Chocolatier sent us a note asking if we wanted to try their wares, I of course said yes since - well, it IS candy, and well, I AM a pushover and I'll try anything once espesh if it's free.

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Marich Confectionary Stuns the Gurus

Reviewed by Jonny on May 11, 2010

Solid candies from a family company. Word!

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Güdfüd: Stuffed Marshmallows Never Tasted So Imported

Reviewed by Matty on May 7, 2010

They're called güdfüd and they're American. Read the review, but I warn you, though the candy is ok, this review sucks.

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Donkey Balls’ “Balls of Fire”: Heatin’ Up Yr Nuts

Reviewed by Matty on Apr 16, 2010

These things are spicy and it creeps up on you; takes awhile to get there. Maybe 5 full one-one-thousands later and then this great cayenne flavor starts to appear in the back of my throat. Serious pure heat. I likey.

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