We may be sour, but we know our sweets.
Reviewed by Jonny on Jun 14, 2013
All things people hate (hard candy, licorice, intense mint) in one convenient package!
Reviewed by Matty on Jun 10, 2013
It's an old standby but dammit there's a reason for that
Reviewed by Jonny on Jun 7, 2013
What's your opinion about candy that sweats?
Reviewed by Matty on Jun 3, 2013
An unappealing mollusk as candy. What'll they think of next?!
Reviewed by Jonny on May 30, 2013
Mentos takes on one of my all-time favorite candy flavors.
Reviewed by Jonny on May 23, 2013
How many fish is too many fish? Turns out: 7!
Reviewed by Matty on May 20, 2013
Gritty and dirty meet tropical something
Reviewed by Jonny on May 17, 2013
Do you hate coconut? Olives? Ginger? Hard Candies? Then read on!
Reviewed by Matty on May 15, 2013
More soda gummies but there ain't no coke in these
Reviewed by Matty on May 8, 2013
I'm so tired. I need a gummy bear. Stat.
Reviewed by Jonny on May 2, 2013
With a pretty unique consistency, this offering from Trolli continues their track record of excellence overseas
Reviewed by Jonny on Apr 25, 2013
Caramel goes with salt. This we know. But does it go with coffee? What about white chocolate? Porjk Belly?
Reviewed by Jonny on Apr 18, 2013
I think I might have liked taffy when I was 4, but now? They all taste the same: bland, boring. And now we have more to try...
Reviewed by Matty on Apr 15, 2013
Great coconut. Perfect for the rich!
Reviewed by Matty on Apr 8, 2013
When you want to eat animated characters, start here
Reviewed by Jonny on Apr 4, 2013
Get ready to CHALK this up to experience. (taps microphone).......Is this thing on?
Reviewed by Matty on Apr 1, 2013
There was a time when Jolly Rancher was a one-trick pony – hard brick candies in watermelon, green apple, cherry,...
Reviewed by Jonny on Mar 28, 2013
Flavor combinations that put what we're used to eating to shame....
Reviewed by Matty on Mar 25, 2013
When the sweet people at Jelly Belly send us Gurus stuff to review, in this case, Easter Candy, I have to ask myself:...
Reviewed by Jonny on Mar 21, 2013
What's gona be better: animal crackers in milk chocolate, or jelly beans in dark? Serious first world issue to ponder.
Reviewed by Matty on Mar 18, 2013
Italians and their food. Let's let them keep making it.
Reviewed by Jonny on Mar 15, 2013
More quality licorice out of Holland....
Reviewed by Jonny on Mar 11, 2013
Time Machine back to summer, 1975. Sand? Check. Sun? Check. Sunscreen? Nope. no one cared back then.
Reviewed by Jonny on Mar 7, 2013
Guinness beer. Makers Mark Bourbon. Shit's getting real up in here.
Reviewed by Jonny on Mar 4, 2013
Gummi inside, "hard" sour shell outside. New concept, and I LIKE IT.
Reviewed by Jonny on Mar 1, 2013
This is what standard, basic licorice SHOULD taste like. Usually not so much. But in this case, yes!
Reviewed by Jonny on Feb 26, 2013
Everyone needs a Sugar Daddy, unless you actually ARE a daddy, in which case it might be an uncomfortable arrangement.
Reviewed by Jonny on Feb 21, 2013
Hey, it's a review of something you can actually BUY in this country! BUT SHOULD YOU???
Reviewed by Jonny on Feb 14, 2013
Lots of first world problems for me today, but enough about me: let's talk about YOU. And what the HELL you're gonna do for Valentine's Day! You're a mess!
Reviewed by Matty on Feb 11, 2013
I know I know... when we think 'chocolate' we all think 'beef'. Nothing new here. Oh WAIT A MINUTE!
Reviewed by Jonny on Feb 8, 2013
Some people "don't like hard candy". These are the same people that "aren't allowed to be near children" and who "eat their own dandruff". I'm sure of it.
Reviewed by Matty on Feb 6, 2013
Don't lie to me about what your candy tastes like. I'm not 19. It won't make me want to sleep with you more. Also, Happy Valentine's Day.
Reviewed by Jonny on Feb 1, 2013
Come with me, won't you, as I take a stroll through the aisles of Tahoe City Chocolates, and uncover som gems old and new.
Reviewed by Matty on Jan 28, 2013
When you're fat, you diet. But you got to still eat candy. Because why make life any shittier?
Reviewed by Jonny on Jan 25, 2013
We’ve reviewed and spoken about jelly beans quite a bit round these parts. Every year before Easter rolls...
Reviewed by Jonny on Jan 17, 2013
I talk a lot of smack about Mamba. Cool name, pretty lame candies. Will this Mamba gummie be any different? SPOILER ALERT: yes, it will. Very. A lot much very.
Reviewed by Jonny on Jan 11, 2013
Mint, Licorice, Chew, Repeat, Rinse.
Reviewed by Matty on Jan 7, 2013
Did you know Germany was name after Ginger? It grows everywhere over there. Seriously.
Reviewed by Jonny on Jan 4, 2013
In a world...where one old dude finds a mystical wood horse that smells like syrup. Coming soon to a theater near you.
Reviewed by Matty on Jan 2, 2013
Tabasco on pizza is a prerequisite to eating, in most cases. Tabasco in your jelly beans is just a smidge different.
Reviewed by Jonny on Dec 25, 2012
I was actually a 4th alternate on trombone for the 1984 recording of "Do They Know it's Christmas?". Didn't make the cut. Still brag about it, though.
Reviewed by Jonny on Dec 21, 2012
The cool thing about life, is that you never cease getting surprised-at least I don’t. Hell, I didn’t...
Reviewed by Jonny on Dec 18, 2012
Take something old (caramel) and give it something new (licorice) and sprinkle heaven dust (sea salt) on it, and you've got something completely new
Reviewed by Matty on Dec 17, 2012
This week I don't have the space in my head to try and be witty, and write a nonsensical review of something as mundane as candy.
Reviewed by Jonny on Dec 12, 2012
I'm a Jew. I'm a Guru. I build things. (Salads mostly). Let's see how this fares.
Reviewed by Matty on Dec 10, 2012
if you like Werther's and you like coconut, you'll literally make love to these. Just don't do it in public; it ain't 1976.
Reviewed by Jonny on Dec 8, 2012
Cherry is weird. I just don’t love it in candy usually, but…it really isn’t “bad”....
Reviewed by Jonny on Dec 6, 2012
In the Smurf show and movie, they all use "smurf" as a verb, so I'm gonnna Smurf the same.
Reviewed by Matty on Dec 3, 2012
Cotton candy, also called candy floss, is sweet.
Reviewed by Jonny on Nov 29, 2012
In a world where virtually no Haribo is available to us lame-o Americans...this bag says "hell no!" and begs to arrive at your doorstep
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