Candygurus

I’m not happy right now. I’m never that happy, but right now, I have several reasons:

1. The fucking Roosters of Kauai are lucky that I don’t have a rifle. Non-stop cock a doodle fucking doo, from 6 am to sunset. I’m not kidding.
2. My son is a spaz, and I don’t have the energy for it.
3. Razzles.

Razzles. Remember these? They’re supposed to be “nostalgia” candy, meaning, candy from the 80’s or earlier. And I DO remember them, or at least I thought I did. The tag line is “First they’re candy, then they’re gum!”

But they’re NOT candy. You EAT candy. These aren’t to be eaten, cause they’re gum. That’s all they are-gum. Hard gum. And it’s not good gum either. There’s really no way to keep chewing it for more than 2 minutes, as the flavor bails early.

In short, here’s what we have: bad gum. But the criminal thing is their billing as candy. Someone got rich off of packaging, and that shit aint right, especially when the money’s coming from dumbass little kids like me, using half their allowance.

The lone saving grace of these things is the flavor. It’s pretty good. But then again, it disappears immediately, so it’s pretty bad.

As my people have been want to say over the years, “Never again!”

Bottom Line: Shit Sandwich.
Would I Buy These Again?: Not a chance.

Candy Gurus Rating: 2/10. Tastes Like Ass.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆